Bloggin to the World or Just Me?

Today has been another good day yet I have felt very manic for the past few days and cannot find enough to do to keep my mind busy. I was quietly introspective and irritable. I know this irritates Jay. I am not sure I can do anything about it. I am sure it helped Jay to take a nap. The computer as I have it set up now does take up more of my interest these days. Of course it's all related to the fact that I am not so messed up on my meds but the manic is scary and I don't like it at all. All I want is to make things better. We are getting mad at each other more often now but it doesn't play to an argument. Like I have said before we analyze the problem and debate if necessary and then agree that we don't agree. He has a head start on me because his memory and intellect is so much better than mine.

Now after taking him to work and I have nothing to do, I'm going crazy. He tells me stories from his past and things that he has done and heard and people he knew and all I wish is that I could have all those pieces of him that I didn't get to see and be a part of.  It almost seems that he holds a lot back, but then with me around when does he really get to talk. Alas, I shall never know the answer to the human that is call Jay DeKing whom I love more than any love I have ever felt before.

This day is almost done and still I want something to do. I'm tired, but not tired enough to go to bed. Besides, the bed is empty.......